Why Is Commitment So Hard?
I hear it often, even in my own mind, “Why is it commitment so hard?”
My clients tell me that they want to change their life and create the life and business of their dreams, yet making the commitment to themselves, their dreams, their purpose, and their goals is so hard.
I hear my students struggle with taking care of themselves while completing their graduate studies, unable to commit to the self-care they need most.
My own self-sabotaging voice cranks up the volume causing me to cave on commitments that I know will get me what I want.
So what makes commitment so hard? Why is commitment so challenging for us?
We say we can’t commit because we don’t know how; yet, we’re pretty good at eating, even when we’re not hungry.
You’ll defend that you’re unable to commit because you don’t have the money; yet, you’ll spend money on stuff and clutter that fills up your closet, home, and the neighborhood yard sales.
We’ll complain that we don’t have the time to exercise, walk, or meditate; yet, we’ll spend time flipping through magazines, surfing the Internet, or vegetating to Netflix.
We commit ever day…
Go ahead. Own it. I did.
Once you do, you can breathe into taking responsibility, release your defenses, and excuses, and change how you make committing work for you. Ready?
Commitment Begins In Your Mind
Commitment can get you the life, career, and business that you want; in fact, commitment is how you create the life of your dreams.
You might think, “But, Kelli, I don’t know how!”
I call bullshit on that because you do know how.
You commit every day!
Whether you know it or not, you have the template inside you to commit to anything and everything you want; you’re simply not consciously aware of what you’re thinking when you commit.
For example, you commit when you:
Eat when you’re not hungry.
Spend money when you don’t need anything.
Drink when you’ve had enough.
Surf Pinterest when you could be caring for your body.
Numb-out to Netflix when you could be doing something that moves you closer to your dreams.
These are all commitments; you’re simply not consciously aware that each of these commitments begins with a single thought; a sentence in your mind.
Over the next 24 hours, consciously observe the commitments you make.
Write them down. All of them!
By the end of the day, I’m absolutely certain that you’ll have plenty of evidence to disprove your excuse, “I don’t know how to commit.”
Next, analyze each of the commitments you made.
Ask yourself, “What was I thinking and feeling before I committed?”
This is super important because it will awaken you to what’s going on in your mind; you will become consciously aware of what you were thinking and feeling when you committed to each item on your list.
For example, when I examined closely why I committed to surfing Facebook and Pinterest instead of with what was in my planner, I came face-to-face with the thoughts, “I’m not worthy. I’m not smart enough. I’m a fraud. No one cares. It won’t matter anyway.”
These thoughts caused me to feel anxious, ashamed, guilty, hopeless, helpless, and totally powerless; feelings that definitely didn’t motivate me to commit to achieving what I want most, and actually came with a cost.
Although excavating these old, negative, false thoughts and feelings wasn’t the most joyful experience, the awareness blew my mind.
I discovered that I do have the capacity to commit, but what needed to change was my thinking.
I needed to challenge the limiting beliefs that were causing me to feel anxious and horrible, and create new beliefs that would serve me and my commitments well.
So what did you discover and what do you need to change in order to create the commitments that will get you want you want most?
You have the template inside you to commit; you do it every day.
Commitment begins in your mind with the thoughts you choose to think.
You are capable of creating the life, business, and career you want most.
The question is, “What do you need to commit to thinking?”
Sending you inspiration,